It is hot up in here!

It was over 100 degrees in Texas today.

Felt like 563 degrees.

Thought I was going to die.

No one else was hot.

They all get annoyed when I turn the air conditioning down to 55.

I have come up with a solution for times like these.

1) take a big 2 liter soda bottle, fill it with water and put it in the freezer.

2) when it is frozen, put the bottle in a pan to catch the drips

3) place the bottle and pan behind a high-velocity fan

4) aim the fan directly at my face

The fan pulls the cool off of the frozen bottle and blows it around.

If that is too much work here is another option:

Sit in the fridge.

Unskilled / Housewife

A survey appeared in my mailbox today.
I love surveys.
Give me an opportunity to mouth off about something and I will absolutely take that opportunity.
The baby was down for a nap and I pulled out my sharpened #2 pencil to give the survey a piece of my mind. I filled out the beginning questions like household income, gender, and zip code. Then I got to the biggie, "What is your occupation?" Among the many choices including architect and teacher, at the bottom of the list I see "Unskilled/Housewife" as the last choice. Are they kidding me?

I admit, housewifery is new to me. I do not have the skills that most women bring to the home arena. My house is a mess, my curtains need to be cleaned and my kids have Popsicle juice stains on their shirts.

So probably "Unskilled/Housewife" applies to me.

But the other housewives I know are amazing CEO's of their families. Their kids are beautifully turned out, they bake and sew, their houses are clean, the pantry is full and they are sticking to their budget.

Hear me when I tell you, survey people, housewives are plenty skilled. They can do just about anything and they do it with a babies on their hips and kids screaming in their ears.

Next time you send me a survey, it had better say, "Skilled/Housewife"

Menstrual cup, did you know there was such a thing?

I have been reading about Menstrual Cups. They are an alternative to tampons and pads, reusable, won't give you toxic shock, last 10 years, and claim to not leak. I opted for the Moon Cup from www.mooncupsandkeepers.com There are several brands to choose from, but this one had a good guarantee and I was a little afraid to commit. We are trying to "go green" over here and this seemed like as good a place to start as any. Honestly, I am so sick of shelling out the cash every month for tampons. They are expensive and there are other things I would rather spend that money on. The Moon Cup costs $35 which, if I like it and use it all the time, should save me money.

The Moon Cup is made of medical grade silicone, there is also latex option called The Keeper.

The directions looked a little difficult, but I have a college degree and could probably figure it out.
Here is the condensed version of the insertion directions:
1) wash your hands
2) fold up The Moon Cup oragami style
3) in a swift and decisive motion, shove it in
4) wait a few hours

For removal:
1) wash your hands
2) Reach up in there
3) pinch the cup
4) pray
5) yank it out

The first time I tried to use it, it was a little disconcerting. One has to be extremely familiar with one's body, if you know what I mean. I was practically elbow deep. Once it was in there, it was uncomfortable, so I had to get it out. During this part, I panicked a little and had to call Steve into the bathroom for moral support. (which he did not give, by the way)
The cup kind of stuck in there and had a pretty heavy suction going on. Despite his unsupportive fits of raucous laughter, Steve was able to bring me the directions, which I read one handed. I had forgotten to pinch the cup. Once I released the suction, smooth sailing.
I removed the cup and cut off a piece of the long end, handle thing, washed the whole thing off and tried again.
This time, everything was great. No problems putting it in or taking it out. It just has a learning curve. On another note, I didn't have any cramps with this cycle. Maybe those were caused by tampons? Not sure.

Pros:
1) low cost

2) lasts a really long time

3) good for the environment

4) don't have to empty it very often

5) made in America

Cons:

1) messy, might get less messy with more practice. Since nothing is absorbed, just collected, you get an intimate view of everything.

2) takes a while to learn how to use it

3) must be very comfortable touching your body

I will definitely use this again. It is very convenient to not have to carry supplies with me everywhere I go for a week.

My 15 year old daughter, Annalise, totally laughed when I offered to get her a menstrual cup. She is sticking with tampons and pads.

Super Shiny Lips

I was at Bath and Body Works today. It is one of my favorite stores and I always find something totally necessary to my daily life. Today, it was Ultra Mentha Lip Shine. Breezing through at a cool $7.50, it was a little pricey. But can you truly put a price on good lip gloss? I am talking about a gloss that doesn't seal your lips shut because it is so sticky. A good lip gloss is a steal at $7.50.Here is what sold me: It is a non-sticky super shiny gloss that tastes INCREDIBLE! It is sweet and minty. You can even use it as a breath freshener. Double duty, for those of us who count ourselves lucky when we are able to get out of the house without baby spit on our clothes.

Picture this, I am out with my handsome husband on a date. We go to a lovely Italian restaurant where I eat an entire loaf of garlic bread while waiting for my entree. We have dinner and get ready to leave. I excuse myself to the ladies room where I reapply my dazzling new gloss. Wham! All at once, fresh breath and kissable lips. I am ahead of the game without even trying!

New at McDonalds

Before I had kids, I always imagined I would be the kind of mother who never took her kids to McDonald's. In my parenting fantasies, I was home baking with fresh ingredients and serving gourmet meals to my perfect, happy family.

But it turns out, I am not a good cook.

Also, McDonald's food is delicious and they have a drive thru window. I love the drive thru. I don't have to drag all five hundred of my kids out of the car just so they can embarrass me in public by misbehaving in yet another restaurant.

Today, at McDonald's, there was a new item on the menu. The Southern Style Chicken Sandwich. Sounds good! Bring it on!

Right out of the box, it isn't much to look at. The bun was freakishly shiny, which was off putting at first.
There is no sauce on it either, so I had to send a kid back into McDonald's to get Mama some mayo.

Surprisingly, it tasted almost exactly like the Chick-Fil-A Classic Chicken Sandwich. Not quite as good. I don't think the chicken was processed, so it was like a regular piece of chicken. That's an improvement over the weird chicken patty you get on the McChicken sandwich. It was really moist and had a lot of flavor. I probably didn't need to add mayonnaise. The pickles were mild and crunchy. I think I'd still choose Chick-Fil-A, but in a pinch, this is a pretty decent sandwich.